PBI ATC: One Bad Apple Won’t Spoil the Bunch

One of the truly enjoyable parts of life — for me at least — is the chance to travel often aboard a business airplane. If I’m not in the left seat, I’m usually pretty close as I was last week on board an Embraer Lineage enroute from West Palm Beach Florida to Teterboro.

In the hours before this New Jersey trip I’d gotten to know the two Embraer pilots — Edson and Prado — pretty well since they’d functioned as my flight instructors during my left seat time on the E-190. It was all part of a Pilot Report I was writing for one of the aviation magazines.

Just prior to engine start this warm, sunny Florida morning, they’d both been telling me about how impressed they were with U.S. ATC, commenting there was none to compare with it anywhere in the world. I pretty much agree, especially having flown across the Brazilian rainforests these guys call their homeland.

As we taxied out to runway 9 Left at West Palm Beach, the local controller at PBI got snippy with the pilot, enough so that I’d like to have climbed off the jump-seat and hidden beneath it rather than continue listening.

We approached the 9 Left hold short lines on “Taxiway Lima” and called ready for takeoff, but there was no response from the tower on 119.1. The non-flying pilot called again and this time the controller reacted. “PP-XTE, I didn’t respond because there’s an airplane on final.” (The italics indicate points of obvious sarcasm … the controller’s, not mine) He made it clear we should have simply KNOWN that. None of us saw the airplane and I would have called ready too.

When our turn came up again, the controller told the flying pilot to “taxi into position on 9 Left.” Perhaps four or five seconds passed as the 100,000 lbs. airplane made its way to the centerline. That’s when the local controller reminded us he was still having a bad day, even though there was very little traffic on the frequency.

“PP-XTE, you’re too slow getting out there. Cross the runway and make a 180 and hold short again.” The irritation in this guy’s voice was unmistakable. The non-flying pilot just looked at me as the PIC complied with this angry controller’s instructions. Maybe the guy didn’t like non-U.S. airplanes. Tough place to live if that’s the case, I thought.

For you non-controllers, the proper technique is to tell the pilot about other traffic when they’re asked him to line up, specifically so everybody’s in the loop, although as close as the landing traffic apparently was, this takeoff would have never worked anyway.

I was horribly embarrassed to be one of the few Americans on board the Lineage this morning, not simply because it showed U.S. ATC in a poor light, but because this tower controller simply wasn’t that busy. I apologized to my cockpit comrades but they just shrugged their shoulders. They’d done nothing to deserve this obvious lack of respect.

As most of you know, I spent a decade of my life in towers and radar rooms,  so I have infinite respect for really good controllers. I also have little patience with controllers who shouldn’t be left alone on the radio where they can air their dirty laundry in front of the flying public.

We eventually departed and arrived in New York two hours later where the irony of our takeoff from Florida was brought home yet again. I wish I’d had my recorder plugged in to the aircraft audio system because listening to the guy working Teterboro arrivals was pure poetry in motion.

We were stuck in the New York gloom at 4,000 feet and on frequency for at least five minutes before the guy even had a chance to talk to us. He was talking non-stop, both vectoring into TEB and working VFRs around the neighborhood.

When our turn came up, he apologized for making us think he was too busy to work us but turned us toward the airport and even said, “XTE, you keep your speed up for me and I’ll speed you right in to Teterboro.” Our two pilots just grinned. They knew full well what a great job this guy was doing.

“PP-XTE, contact Teterboro Tower 19.5 and you have a nice day.” We couldn’t even say thank you. The dude never stopped talking. Our arrival into one of the busiest pieces of airspace in the world made up for the lousy job the guy did at PBI where the world seemed beautiful and sunny.

Maybe the FAA needs to help that PBI controller get a little more fiber in his diet. What do you think?